Articles of Impeachment
against
Grosvenor Charles Bedford,
one of his Majestys light-horse [1]
_______
1. that he the said Grosvenor Charles Bedford has persisted in a long &
obstinate silence, a crime humanely punished in his majestys dominions by
flogging & half-hanging.
2. that he has detained dispatches from Anthony Carlisle requesting the attention of R.S. to some children
then at Bristol, till the children had left the place.
3dly that he is vehemently <suspected> from the
external appearance of the letter of having used it in the way by which the Huns
were accustomed to make mule steaks. [2]
________
Grosvenor! most mulish Grosvenor! beast! for beasts are dumb
& you are silent, & to be silent is to be dumb & to be dumb is to be
a beast, & therefore are you most logically brutalized. O for a dictionary
of vituperation – a Gradus ad Parnassum [3] of abuse – a Thesaurus of
execrations that might make Ernulphus [4] damn himself for a
barren-brained blockhead-Beast, for to be obs
you are obstinate, & to be obstinate is to be a mule, therefore beast again!
Beast, for to be a soldier is to be a brute, therefore yet again I say beast.
b monstrous beast – for to be a horse
soldier is to be a Centaur [5] therefore prodigious
beast! hast thou ears to hear? let the voice of malediction rumble like down thy auricular labyrinths like the mail
coach over Brentford stones. [6] hast thou eyes to see? let them
look upon the letter that disturbs thy indolent repose, pleasantly as the
rock-ribbed toad leers at the stone-mason who saws him open.
It has done me good. I am better – much better. forty grains of
Ipecacuanha [7] could not have been <more> beneficial to my gall – a
voyage across the Bay of Biscay [8] could not
have renderd me more pigeon-livered. I am softened – turtleized – yea a very
lamb. I am prepared to read thy expiatory lines with the favourable eye of
reconciliation – My expectation gapes for thy letter like a frog in a hot dusty
day on the turnpike road; it will swallow thy excuses as a whale bolts
herrings.
Write & thou shalt hear from me, as how I am dwelling in a
house – which – to the great titillation of thy risible nerves is christened
Martin-hall.
I have asked Wynn to come to it.
Grosvenor God bless thee.
Robert Southey.
In verite you have left <me> in suspense respecting
your goings on – which if I had not had most negro employments would have
been very unpleasant. direct to Cottles – & one more God bless you.
Friday evening. 20th July
1798 [9]
Notes
* Address: To/
Grosvenor Charles Bedford Esqr/ Exchequer/ London./
Single
Stamped: BRISTOL
Postmark: B/ JY/ 23/ 98
Endorsement: 20
July 1798
MS: Bodleian Library, MS Eng. Lett. c. 23
Previously
published: John Wood Warter (ed.), Selections from the Letters of
Robert Southey, 4 vols (London, 1856), I, pp. 58–59 [in
part]. BACK
[1] Grosvenor Charles Bedford had joined a company of volunteer
cavalry, probably the Light Horse Volunteers of London and
Westminster. BACK
[2] The
Huns, a group of nomadic tribes of the 4th and 5th centuries AD, were
thought to eat raw meat, which they tenderised by placing under their
saddles at the beginning of the day’s ride. BACK
[3] A
dictionary used to assist in the writing of Latin verse. The Latin
translates as ‘steps to Parnassus’. BACK
[4] Ernulf or Ernulphus, Bishop of Rochester (1040–1124), was regarded as an
authority on cursing; see Laurence Sterne (1713–1768; DNB),
The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, 9
vols (London, 1759–1767), III, pp. 309–311. BACK
[5] In mythology a
creature that was half-man and half-horse. BACK
[6] The main
road between London and the south west of England passed down the high
street of Brentford in Middlesex. Southey would have travelled through
Brentford many times on this route. BACK
[8] The
waters of the Bay of Biscay were notoriously turbulent. BACK
[9] 1798: Added in another
hand. BACK
