My dear Wynn
It is said that when a woman has any business
to write about it always comes in in the postscript – my own
nature is quite opposite. & the reason that makes me
write must come first.
I received from Corry my first
quarters salary in advance – 87 £ English according to the
then exchange. travelling has consumed 50 £. to remove my
mother from Bristol has cost me 15–. I need not state other
items. London xxxx doubles
my expenditure. I know not from what time my secretaryship
is to date – if from my first meeting Corry – ten weeks
have elapsed. if from his summons – the quarter wants but a
few days of its fulfillment – but a second payment cannot be
expected before the end of the six months. – send me one
draft – & I will make it last till April by what else I
can get from newspapers & reviews. – then – receiving
the salary at the end of the term, & the heaviest
expences & embarrasments being overcome – I shall go on
well while the sinecure continues, & will never be
unjust enough to receive what I do not want. my dear Wynn it was
this hope that made me joyfully connect myself with Corry. it is only
this that makes me regard the probable breach of that
connection with regret. – In my last I laid open my dreams
& wishes for the future – another year will lessen my
expences – but at a heavy price. – my Cousin
Margarett is gone! – I have just paid part of her
death expences – xxxxx – I
hardly knew how like a sister she was to me before. my Mother is
going – unless some sudden amendment appears – a few weeks –
or even days must compleat the dissolution. all claims upon
me for exertion will soon cease.
I never saw xx <so> quiet & easy a decline. the
spirits still remaining – xx
enough of hope, yet still a forefeeling of the event – but
without fear. – I thought to have written of other things –
but this possesses me – & these feelings are best kept
to oneself. my own system leads me to avoid all painful
feelings when we may avoid them – of course when they come
there is no need to communicate them –
God bless you
yrs
Robert Southey
Thursday. 17. Dec. 1801.
